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| Well it hasn’t been easy these past few weeks. My relationship is not really getting fixed. In away it looks like as if no one wants to be in a relationship. Am I trying to hard in working out our troubles in our relationship or does Leslie even want to be with me? I’ve been frustrated since we broke up. Yes my head is more focused now that we are doing the things we need to take care of. I just don’t know if she wants to go on with us if our love is that strong to keep going for more years to come. Lately we have been arguing about small things and than it turns into big things. It’s hard for me because I know that five years ago that girl would do what ever it would take to keep me in her life. Now it looks like that really doesn’t matter. One thing is I hate giving my emotions to someone when I know that as soon as I open up and I turn in to this sweet, good, caring, loving man. I stopped being that guy because girls just treated me like shit they would lie to me and use me. Most of all hurt me deep. My heart was stomped try seeing your girlfriend kissing another guy right in front of you while looking right into my eyes. How about when you tell that person that you love them and they just start laughing at you. Let’s just say it broke my soul. I gave up being sweet and started to be more of an asshole. I don’t know what the deal was but I got more attention being an asshole than being sweet. A few Girls started to come around me and tell me was up. I was shocked that this girls like jerks. So I did my own little investigation and I noticed that girls wanted attention. I wouldn’t give them that part of me. When I met Leslie she was a challenge cause she was sweet caring loving but way to innocent. I pretty much don’t really go for those specifics but she was different. I fell head over heels over her. I guess what im saying is that I miss her way of being. The girl that would scare the heck out of me. Waiting for me after lunch or early in the morning. I miss a lot of things because I know I hurt her deep and getting back where she once was is not easy because I ignored her way of being. I didn’t show her my appreciation toward the things she did to make us and the relationship so sweet that I was taking away from you I am sorry for what I did in the past. I do know how it feels now it hurts it makes me feel not worthy even if you tell me that I am. I see it through my eyes. That’s why I changed cause I cant be that person anymore. I really hate my buddies right now cause they got three girls hitting me to go on a date. Im like sorry im kind of fixing my relationship. One girl goes to bad I could of showed you a good time. Believe me im like ho. The other two said that Leslie is very lucky to have some one like you in her life and that it’s not easy to find a man these days that will do what ever it takes to make a woman happy and work on a relationship. Most guys just say its over and there they go to the next bitch. So yeah girls envy leslie because she has a man that loves you. Would I cheat on Leslie no I would not I have the best girl in the world and she treats me good. Plus I love her mind she can be quite mysteries. I just wish that she can be that person again. Now the things she does for me she knows I appreciate it. Like the confetti in her letters. The perfume on her letters they smell so good. I am not going to say anything else but take care of what you have to do about our relationship if I see you still haven’t improved I will start changing. I won’t be back for two weeks im leaving two see the mountains and the beautiful forest. I need to search my self in this relationship. I won’t answer my calls for two weeks im going to leave it at the house. I just wanted to let you know that I Love you Leslie and ill talk to you in two weeks. Stay sweet and I hope when I get back you arms are wide open to say I missed you. And I love you. Take care and talk to you later. I LOVE YOU LESLIE AGUIRRE | | |
| Today im so tired but I got the chance to drive a big rig man those cars aint easy to drive. I was practicing for two hours and i came home I ate and than i worked out for like an hour. I ran longer this time i ran 1.34 miles in 18.02 min i was tired han i started working out on my abs a good 15 min. After that i started working on my chest tone up my body. And last i worked on my thighs make them tighter. So yeah it went well today lets se how much progress do i do tomorrow I only had left 11.58 min left and i would of been done with the 30 min challenge. Im trying in everything to tone up my body. laters | | |
| well i started working out on the tredmill just a 30 min challenge workout. i only did 16:30 min than i gave out. I ran 1.26 miles and lost 200 calories. I was sweating alot im still sweating after 20 min of not working out. I weigh 195 pounds i used to weigh 206 pounds. I still have a long way to go. Im trying to get my six pack on my absand tone up my body. I will do it again tomorrow. Im going to start taking vitamins it looks like I need them.lol well until next time laters. | | |
| well early sunday morning i got up and did what i do every sunday morning play games for a few hours. It was a beautiful day and I wasnt expecting anything that day. well Leslie showed up and i was out off words. well we went to see my uncle cause my girl didnt know what to do and im tring to give her the confidence that she needs to move forward in this job. Lets say i did all the talking and She got a good start she makes more than me for now and on top of that shes her own boss. after she gets her office than she will get paid by percentage rate. so shes going good for now i dont want her to give up on this job cause it will help her to pay for classes so she can stop pulling loans. right now i know leslie is try to save money cause she plans things and they get canceled at the last minute. so im going to go and help leslie save up money so we can go to japan and see maki. its been something that she wants to do and plus she want s to see maki. so i will make her dream come true. it will take effort but if we are both determind than we will succeed.
Im sad cause I waited sunday for her i cleaned my room I left it spotless ready for her to actually feel warm and make her feel loved something that she hasnt been feeling in a while. I got in the shower got ready I shaved and i put on her favorite cologne she loves that stuff. Well I found the club It was a fancy club i know she would of loved it. It was a new club no cover charge you call it drinks only 2 dollars. they close at 2 in the morning. great place. I would say the best place to celebrate her 23 rd birthday I even got her 3 roses. I was feeling good last night what can i say it was my babys birthday. It was my way of saying thank you for the times that you celebrated my birthday. well she didnt show up. I waited thinking she might be in traffic. I waited till 12 at night no show. I really got sad and depressed. My hopes of making her happy just got draind. So i through away the roses today cause the pedels fell off i guess it was really hot last night. I slept in my clothes and I am hear writting right now. so yeah i did a lot last night. well where ever leslie ended up staying i hope she got her happiness. As in for me I got to keep moving forward and go on with my studying. laters...:(
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| Well it seems that when ever I don't call you or talk to you on a daily bases you seem to get mad at me. I don't want you to be mad I just need to think what to do now cause its not a friendship issue this whole problem that me and you are going through is not a friendship issue. Our friendship is just fine. The real problem is with in us hunny. I see that when I dont chat with u on a daily bases u get mad and you start getting joules. It makes me mad that u start thinking that I'm interested in other girls when in reality I'm into you and trying to work out our problems. Being single doesn't make me happy. I can see what's out there and I'm still in my box I haven't left just cause there's girls everywhere. I just want you to find your self but you are fighting your self as well with your feelings and emotions. I feel like will be alright if we stay focused on what we need to do. Right now we have things that we need to help each other and move forward. I told you I don't need anyone else yet you fear that I'm going to be taken. Im not hot, cute nore damn sexy. but If u think that I'm all of those things than I'm happy.
Single?
I like being single yet i dont. Two different things. Why do i like being single cause i really dont think of anything else. Im pretty much thinking of doing things were i need to go. Right now i need to pass my driving test for my class A drivers license. I also have to find a college so i can enroll my self for g.e. classes. I just think that my mind is stuck in moving on to higher things where i can never go like going to the mountains and thinking of traveling.
The feeling of not being single makes me happy. I feel like i want to come home to my baby. The person that i can talk to and the person i can admire. I love being in a relationship because it brings out the best out of me. The person that no one can really see but my girlfriend. Some one i can travel with and share my life with. Someone that makes me happy and isnt afraid to say i need you. spend the night with me. i need you by my side. The person that can inspire me to go higher in my career. That is you leslie. Thats why i Love being with you cause you are my inspiration in my life. you motivated me to go hire with no regrets.
Solution
Well we both know what we both have to do to make us work well. We just need to stay focused on what we are doing and what can we do to make us be better. Being single can be nice but it suck when you really miss that person to the fullest cause they know that they mean the world to us and that we need them in our hearts. Leslie if you need me to explain all of this let me know Always yours Anthony | | |
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